


your badman

by divinemalefactor (panathema)



Category: Grand Theft Auto V, TwitchRP
Genre: Courting but it's Dan Dan, M/M, Short One Shot, courting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:06:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23938129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panathema/pseuds/divinemalefactor
Summary: Valentine doesn't know what this is, but neither does Dan Dan.
Relationships: Dan Dan/Doctor Valentine
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	your badman

**Author's Note:**

> i have SO many thoughts about these two but this is all i could come up with. i wish i knew more abt valentine tbh like where did he study is he actually a doctor does he have any pets can i love him?? i'm @ bedbnanas.tumblr.com

Truth be told, Doctor Valentine didn’t know how he ended up here. Los Santos, sure. Pilbox, yeah. But out the back of some building he didn't know after a late shift at work, in a dead-end back alley that didn’t smell as bad or feel as grimy as it could've, sitting in the backseat of an undoubtedly stolen car with a criminal curled up with his head in his lap? There weren't really any steps he consciously took to get to this point.

Except maybe getting a criminal off his charges was inviting trouble. That might've been step one, or five, or a mistake in itself. If it was anybody else, Valentine thought, even another one of Los Santos' most wanted, maybe it would’ve gone down differently. Maybe he wouldn't have ended up like this.

But no, he’d helped Daniel Daniel. Not that anybody else garnered this kind of attention from Dan Dan, not even those in the man's crew from what little he’d seen. Not Valentine’s co-workers either, although Valentine had heard Dan Dan was kind enough to them. Whether or not Dan Dan grabbed them by the hand, dragged them gently into a stolen car, and drove badly around the block for a few minutes while rambling about the ocean and the radio, though, he wasn’t so sure. Something told him probably not.

Half the problem was that he enjoyed it. Valentine blamed it on the slow escalation, starting with Dan Dan calling for him loudly whenever he visited for a patch-up at work, to vaulting over the front desk to search for him, to giving him random gifts, to crooning excitedly over him when he saw Valentine outside of work, to large wads of cash appearing in his pockets after he visited, to… this.

Valentine ran his hands through Dan Dan’s hair, frowning at the unknown hard substance stuck in an impressively perfect circle patch, matting it together. He tugged at a few strands, trying to loosen whatever it was, but it held fast. He didn't worry about accidentally rousing Dan Dan, who he was sure was awake even if he kept his eyes closed and breathing even, high-pitched almost-snores continuing. 

It was getting late, late enough that working his shift the next day would be difficult from the lack of sleep, but he wasn’t sure how rushing Dan Dan would end, or if it would have any effect at all. At least he could admit this was kind of nice, something between a forbidden thrill and a peaceful moment he felt oddly comforted by. He wasn’t even sure what this was, really. They weren’t even friends, not in a traditional sense. 

But maybe something more?

Or less.

Fuck.

Was he really starting to overthink what he was to _Dan Dan_? He gave a breathy laugh, body jumping with it, disbelief heavy in his mind even as his heart settled fondly at his acknowledgement of the non-feelings. He'd fed a stray animal and now it was coming back for more and more, and there was some pride at managing to have tamed something and gotten it to trust him like this.

“No moving,” Dan Dan growled, shifting and turn his head so he was curled up even closer, nose pressing hard into Valentine’s stomach. He said something else but the words were muffled and not repeated.

“I’ve got to leave at some point.” Even if he didn’t mind this strange soft kidnapping, he really did have to go home.

“No, we don’t.”

“I have to eat.”

Dan Dan shifted again, digging his hand deep into the pocket of his shorts and pulling out a handful of shells, spilling sand over the car seat.

“Sea popcorn, it’s-- it’s nutrition, baby. Good for you.” As if to prove it, Dan Dan craned his neck awkwardly forward and tongued at the shell pieces until they fell into his mouth, crunching happily on them.

“Dan-- Stop, stop man, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Valentine tried to dig his fingers into Dan Dan’s mouth, feeling an awful lot like he was trying to stop a dog from eating something it really shouldn’t.

“Gotchu to pastch me up,” Dan Dan countered with confidence, words slurred around Valentine’s fingers. “Alwaysh got m’Valentine, baby.”

Valentine hummed, pulling out as much shell as he could and wiping his hand on Dan Dan’s shirt, the red of it darkening with spit but a surprising lack of blood, dotted with bits of broken shell.

“Not if we get caught by the cops in this stolen car. No more healing if you or I are in jail.”

“No, never, baby. I’ve never been caught, not once. Not even _once_.”

It was a lie and Valentine knew it, yet he agreed with a, “Only because I got you out of it.” It had only happened once, but Dan Dan grinned up at him, eyes opening as he looked up with pride. 

“Yeah, baby, you too good to me. You one of the cool ones, even if you rock with the Green Gang.”

“I don’t… Yeah, okay. Thanks, Dan Dan.”

“Always, always. No problem. No more moving though, we have to sleep together.” Dan Dan’s eyes shut again, scrunching with effort as he turned to press his face back into Valentine’s stomach.

“We have-- We what?” Valentine was as amused as he was thrown off by the statement, laughing as he asked. “What do you mean? That’s not…” He trailed off, more hesitant this time as he patted Dan Dan’s hair. 

“The Bitches said so. Jerry-- No, Fingle, Fingle said I -- we should get a room, and I asked what he wanted, why he suggested-- And Ken said that we had to sleep together, that’s what love is. Jerry said it wasn’t but Jerry’s in prison anyway, so--”

“Jerry was right,” Valentine cut in quickly, scratching at the spot near Dan Dan’s neck that always made him relax. It worked as intended and Dan Dan stopped trying to hide in Valentine's body quite so hard, sighing loudly and reaching up to place a palm on Valentine's neck, letting it rest there in a way that must've been uncomfortable but he didn't seem to mind. “That other stuff, it doesn’t matter. If you love someone you…” Valentine took a deep breath. “Dan Dan, are you saying you…”

“What, baby?”

“You love me?” It was an odd thought, not exactly one Valentine disliked but not one he was sure he was comfortable with. Dan Dan wasn't exactly a bachelor of choice for settling down with, as much as Valentine liked him.

“Always, baby. Since day one, since the first time. Love at first sight, even though your bone knowledge not so good.” 

Valentine hummed, turning his head to look out the window, staring at the dingy buildings around them, walls and ground barely lit up by a streetlight from the road. What a shithole. How did he get here?

“Where that Rebel Radio at?” Dan Dan said suddenly, louder than he was before, filling the car with his voice and smashing the silence after his confession. He struggled out of Valentine’s lap, leaning forward through the gap in the front seats to fiddle with the radio.

“Dan Dan.”

“Now that’s good, that the good stuff,” Dan Dan rambled over top of Valentine, clambering slowly into the driver’s seat, clumsy and almost kicking Valentine in the face.

Valentine leaned forward, hooking his chin over the seat so his face was next to Dan Dan’s as he settled, sandled feet jamming down on the break, up and down, up and down, almost… nervous. 

“Next time get food. Not bread and water, something good. We can sleep at my place, okay? Baby?” Valentine said it slowly, hesitantly trying to get Dan Dan's attention by using his overused pet name. He briefly considered just putting his seatbelt on and letting Dan Dan drive, just talking for a bit and trying to get _some_ grasp on the situation, but that was never going to be a good idea no matter what this whole thing turned into. So he opened his car door with a click when he got no response, stretching to work out the stiffness of his muscles before leaving Dan Dan to his thoughts, whatever they were.

He made it to the street, bag slung over his shoulder and feeling both wrung out and relaxed, before he heard the engine of Dan Dan’s car turn on and get louder, following him out of the alleyway.

Dan Dan paused next to him for just a moment, window rolled down, and blew a dramatic kiss before peeling away. Valentine raised his eyebrows, feeling uncertainly pleased about the gesture, returning it half-heartedly to the retreating car as he readjusted the bag strap on his shoulder.

Not a minute later, Valentine heard the wail of multiple police sirens. 

He was sure the next day would bring another round of gifts and a request for a bandage, and he would be there with a handshake to accept both.


End file.
